Today is the sadness day in my whole life. My lovely BB is gone. BB left us, BB havent got the last chance to see my mama n my sista. I keep telling BB to stay strong and wait for them. BB with me got almost 9 years. BB very kwai wan... BB never let us worry bout her. When BB want to go pee, she will go out herself. At night BB will manja you and beg you to company her poopoo. You can see BB always smiles. Expecially when I came back from outside, BB will wait for me at the door and shaking her tails. Sometimes BB will play hide and seek with me. BB is the best in the world. I love to see her manja me. Her favourite food is cheese and butter and also faat gou. I will pray for her and buy her faat gou every chor 1 and 15.
Well, I cant believe it. I've company her the whole night. As usual BB will sneak into my room before I sleep. I cover BB with a tower because BB is sick. BB looks comfortable with the tower on. I watched my drama till 330am while I accompany her. I force myself to sleep because tomorrow morning I have plans with Nick, Jean & Thomas.
Today I let BB sleep in my room so I can take care of her. Usually BB will go out to sleep if I switch off the light. When BB coughing, I sayang her, till I fall to sleep. I can't sleep well because BB cough. BB never sick for all the times. So far only 3-4 times only in this 9 years. Can you see how health is BB. I dont know why this year BB getting so weak.
530 in the morning, I wake up to go washroom, so I need to open the door and BB just slept behind the door, so I have to wake her up. Normally BB will wake up if I open the door but today she didnt wake up, so I thought she sick d, didnt wake up. So I have to push her aside. Strange thing is when I push her aside, she got no feeling at all. Then I faster switch on the lights and see what happen to her.
When the lights is on, she already passed away. She biting the hand and the tougue is out. I guess she dont want to let me know. Or else I can heard if she is struggling. I couldnt believe it. I keep waking her up. My tears keep dropping non stop. I pulled out her hand and keep calling "BB, wake up, dont sleep, wake upppppp BB''. She got no respon, so I try to pump her heart, still no heart beat. I still continue doing it. I'm not giving up. I carry her out of my room to the kitchen and continue pumping her. Still no heart beat. But she still in warm. I guess BB just passed not long ago. I'm sitting there and cried non stop. My heart is broken and pain. Keep calling BB, BB, BBBBBB..... I hugged her and cried. Whyy... whyyy... why BB want to leave me.... why.....
I stoned awhile then I go wake up my dad. He also stone. He finding something to dig a hole beside my house to bury BB. I sitting there cried only. My dad take newspaper and ask me to wrap her on and bury her. I cover her with the tower together incase she get cold in heaven. I still cant believe she is died. I think she will wake up later. So I sitting there and wait. I keep sayang her. I dont feel like bury her. I wana stay with her. I wana stay forever with her. I tooked some pic of her. This is the only times I can take pic of her. She dont like people take pic of her because she scare of the flash.
I went out to see papa digging the hole. When he is done, he ask me carry BB out. This is the last chance I carry her. I really feel so hard to let go. I feels like wana bury myself with her. Hugging her cried again. After everything done, papa ask me to get some praying stick to pray her. I'm still sitting there and stare and BB's grave while papa is going home. I sitting there cried till the stick burned all. The weather is so nice, cooling and little bit rain. I keep praying to GOD, dont rain and thunder please, BB scare of thunder. At last the rain stop and no thunder at all. Just the wind blow only.
BB's grave
BB, dont worry, your sweet home is just nearby, you can come home everyday. You must come home to see us ok. Dont worry if got raining or thunder, you can hide inside my room. It is safe for you. BB, you must come into my dreams to tell me you are fine. You are always in my heart, no one can replace you.
Alot memories in this house, all the sweet memories are here with BB. Every step in the house I can see BB. Its make my life so tough, so hurt, so sad. How can I live without you? I feel so lonely now. I feel so lost without you. Suddenly I feel the house become so silence, no barking, no manja, no sayang... no one loves me anymore. Everyone is leaving me. I feel so unloved. The best is live inside of my own world.
BB, I LOVE YOU, I ALWAYS DO!
GOD, PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER, SHE IS VERY KIND, SHE IS A VERY GOOD DOG!
Cover Report design for the month of December 2005.
Cover Report design for the month of November 2005.